The day from Hades!!!

Ugh! I am soooooooooooooooo glad to be home after the day I've had. I swear, I am going to stab some people. Family members, coworkers, and at this point... just a random stranger. ha! I'm kidding - I would NEVER actually harm someone, but I sure do feel like it sometimes! I have reached my tolerance level for a couple of guys at work. I'm tired of the "woe is me" routine and the constant flow of negativity that comes out of their mouths. One guys has been on crazy leave for almost two months. While he was gone, we have to do his work - he's been back for one full week and guess what? Exactly -- back to the negativity, outrageous outbursts, irrational behavior, mumbling and talking to himself, threats of suicide and violence toward others... I've had it. Completely DONE with it. I don't see why I am required to deal with this, why I have to be subjected to that sort of behavior. We are all adults, we are all going through our own personal battles -- suck it up and take like a man, sit down, shut up and do your job so you can go home and not bother me. haha... is that too much to ask?

Seriously, Joann is facing the thought of every living member of her family moving away - like, states away. Meggan is facing her own personal battles and is a little confused right now as to what to do with her life. I am happy to say she has been going to church with me quite a bit lately and that she has agreed to meet with Sis C. before church Wednesday to discuss a Bible Study and other issues she is having. Travis has got some health issues going on. Andrea has just moved into her own house for the first time ever and is adjusting to that. Lloyd has twins that are ALWAYS sick. Vanisia is having LOTS of health issues and her own mental health issues. I have been going through whatever this funk is as well as some medical things. My point is, we all have our issues and things that we are dealing with. So why is it that Matt and Andy get to come in and spew forth negativity for 8 hours straight and the rest of us are expected to sit there and take it?! I'm sorry... I'm done.

Beyond that - I'm just wore out. I'm at an emotional low right now, and I can't seem to shake myself out of it. I just wanna wallow in it - and that's not healthy. I'm frustrated because I feel like I am getting nowhere with Carla. Even though she says it's going good - I just feel more and more unsure and uneasy. My current wonderings are this... There are deeply painful things in my past that must be addressed and healed in order for me to move on. Is it possible to dig these things up, deal with them, forgive those people, allow God to heal those places and move on without having to actually speak to those people about it?? I'm not sure that is possible. In fact, I highly doubt it. I know that I'm probably FAAAARRRR from that point, but the thought and fear is still there. But, among other things, that is weighing on my mind right now.

I have, however, managed to wear myself out to the point that I'm about to fall asleep. So... I'd better take Sugar to pee and head that way. Don't know if I'll make it to Body Pump in the morning, but it's my half day -- so I could go to the 4:25 class again this week. Hmmm....