So... I'm back. From my very first therapy appointment. And, no surprise to me, her official response was "you've got a lot going on". haha.. well, I knew that lady!
Nah, I'm teasing. I actually like her - she makes me laugh. After everything I said she was raise her eyebrows and say okaaaay... soooo - and then she'd ask another question. I gotta give her props though - she's got the hang of all my baby mama drama with all my step/half siblings and who they belong to. Not an easy task, even to those who know them all.
I actually feel a little better. Could be that I have been sooooo nervous about this very day that just the sheer withdraw of fret has helped. The last thing she said, and I agree, is that I'm doing the right thing. I feel that more now than I did 2 hours ago.
So my "homework" this week.... I am to practice deep breathing when I do get chest pains (I already do when they get bad, I can't all the time b/c I'd be doing deep breathing all day and I'd get dizzy and pass out from all that), I can try to practice some mental imagery (that would be the "happy place" stuff -- I felt bad, but I laughed out loud on that one), and last but to journal - especially about my dad. She knows he's coming and just a smidgen of the background story there... so I am to take note and journal about the things that he says or does that makes me feel like he does not want anything to do with me, or why I would question his motives for being here and coming to see me.
Today was a meet and greet situation - she asked a bunch of questions, and I answered them. She understands that I do not want medication, and that I'm absolutely terrified. We have an appointment next week, and then we will go from there. *sigh* what a night.
So, I've tried to call Dana to update her after *ahem* informing her that she was "on call" tonight and her phone is not on. Told Hope to be expecting my call today - and she doesn't answer. Sis. C is expecting an update - and she doesn't answer. My sis tells me to call her to talk about it - and she doesn't answer.... Good LORD people!! I'm just teasing. =o) I really don't have time to re-hash it 12 hundred times anyway. I have a house to clean and a panic attack to have about my dad coming. And I'm supposed to call Dawn here in a little bit once she gets home for her update. So... I gotta go - sooo much to do!
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