I don't even know where to begin with this one...
I get a phone call yesterday. Well, let me back up and say that I almost passed slap out when I had one missed call last night (at 10:30 mind you) and it was my Dad. So I listen to my voicemail and it just says to call. I'm thinking... who died? I mean... the last conversation we had was about Grandpa Alfter's funeral - and I had to call him on that one.
The beginning of the conversation went something like this:
"So, I figured, since we are never going to get an invite to your house; I would just call and invite myself". Excuse me WHAT?!
Apparently the story is... they are going to be in Metropolis (Southern Illinois) over the weekend to work on some rental property they have there. They should finish up about Monday or so and then head my way Tuesday and stay until Thursday. Now, Metropolis is about 5 hours from me.
Okay... now... first of all, this is the man that has not bothered to pick up the phone to so much as wish me a happy birthday in probably 10 years or more - let alone calling to chat. So the fact that he's calling is shocking enough. Second... this is also the man that could not drive across town to come to my high school graduation, and yet he wants to drive 5 hours out of his way to come stay with me for 2 days. AND... this is the man that refused to let me participate in the family Christmas present drawing of names thingy b/c whoever got my name would have to ship my present, and he is going to come visit when gas prices are as they are now. What is going on? Can we say PANIC ATTACK today? OOooooo and let's not forget the time I told him that the highway ran both ways when he told me I needed to come visit more and he said... "well, I would come down to Tennessee... but I don't really know anybody down there." ha!
What do you do with that?!? I have no clue ... what the crap am I going to do??
This is sooooo not the time to have to deal with this. Hope says this is my chance to go off on him. haha... home court advantage and all. Lynz is willing to come down just to stab him ... and do some interesting things with select body parts - but those will remain out of my blog to keep it at a PG level.
Why does he always do this to me? Just when I settle down and come to the realization that yes, he is gone, he's not coming back, he doesn't want anything to do with me ... he will pull something like this. I REFUSE to get my hopes up this time. I REFUSE to let him break my heart AGAIN!! And WHY in the 26 years of my life, does he pick the very point in which I choose to have a nervous breakdown to make the biggest step ever?
I can't handle this right now. I do not have the strength to deal with this. At least he gave me short notice and I only have 4 days to worry my guts out about it. And really... it would be just like him not to come. Ugh!! He's not even here and he's screwing with my head - how sick is that?!?
haha... I just keep thinking - that first "meet and greet" counseling session I've got scheduled for Monday night...lol - it's so gonna be "okay, for real ... I have this a-hole for a father... he's coming to see me tomorrow... lets just jump right in there". haha.
What am I gonna do?
This man is at the root of quite a few of the issues and quirks that I still have today. He is the cause of a lot of self esteem issues, abandonment issues, the fact that the male species terrifies me, trust issues ...shall I go on? HE is the reason. And he's coming to MY house.
I've got to go clean something ... oh Lord, I'm turning into my mother!!!!
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