So, I've not ever had a blog before. Shocking, yes I know! I've attempted to keep the online journal or two, and I do subscribe to the likes of myspace and everyonesconnected. However, never had a place that I really felt I could let out what my heart wanted to let out. There is this fear deep inside of me that people that I know will read what I have written - and then what's a girl to do?
You see, I've done my very best to hid away every thought and every emotion so that nobody is burdened with all my drama. I have family members who do not care what others think and let all their raw emotion hang out there for the world to see. I can't do that. I suppose it's been programed in me that since I'm a christian and I serve God that I'm not alowed to have feelings of depression, helplessness, restlessness, hoplessness ... and the list goes on.
No, I don't want this to be a "my life is so horrible I'm going to slit my wrists" type of blog, because that is not what I feel. I want it to be a place where I can be honest, completely honest with my feelings. No holds bar, no pacifiying, no candy coating - pure raw emotion. Hense the "undisclosed emotion" ... I know what you are thinking - "in your profile you said that you were honest". Yes, I did; and yes, I am. But I hide emotions, bottle them up for fear of hurting you.
So here is a place that I can simply let go. A place where I will strive to be completely honest. (And hope to GOD that nobody I know ever reads - ha!)
